Back....again

I know I say this everytime..."I took a break...my life was too hectic...I'm back for good...blah blah blah"

I hope it can be true that this time I will be back for good but in this 'break' that I've had, I have had some rough times, some really good times, and quite a bit of realisation about how I am currently living my life.





A couple of weeks ago I watched a documentary on BBC2 titled "A time to Live" which you might still be able to get on the iPlayer if you are in the UK. It focusses on 12 people, all of whom are living with terminal illness in a positive way. The whole documentary is an absolute delight. yes there are parts that make you feel sad but ultimately I felt really happy and positive after watching it. Not in a sense of "if these people can be so positive when they might die in a few months so can I" sense, but more in a "why am I so worried about money, or the cellulite on my butt, or being nervous about talking to people" sense.

I have always been a very shy person, and much more on the introverted end of the spectrum. Most of this is due to my worry of how other people perceive me. Watching how these people are living their lives with such joy has made me realise that ultimately, no one really cares what I am like because they are all too worried about how they are being perceived by others. So I'm going to go out more. And talk to people I don't know. And do the things that make me happy. And if people think I look like an idiot then that's fine. I'll probably never see those people ever again, and they probably have no idea how happy I am inside at that moment that I don't even notice their judgement of me. I am going to create more things. Like this blog, which I am no longer going to label as a food blog or a lifestyle blog or whatever. It's just a space for me to write and share the things that are inspiring me and the things I create in this wonderful life of mine. I'm also going to do more of the things that I already know make me happy. Like baking, and being with my family, playing with my dog, being in green spaces. And more importantly, I'm going to try new things. If I don't like it then it's one less thing to fit into my life. If I enjoy it but I'm not "good at it" it's something for me to learn and develop, not to be embarrassed about. If I love it AND I'm "good at it" then that's just going to make my day.

But more than any other thing that I have read or watched, "A Time to live" made me really realise that life is to be celebrated. Even if someone has a serious illness or condition, we shouldn't feel sad for them and cry, we should celebrate the life that they have had, and all the positive impacts they have had on the world around them. Sure we can feel sad that they have this illness, we are only human after all, but that shouldn't dominate the time that we have left with these people in our lives. We should be enjoying their company and sharing experiences with them as much as we can. Making memories. For us and them. Because those are what will live on when they are no longer around. We will remember the smiles on their faces and the sound of their laughter. The smell of their favourite perfume or aftershave. The taste of their favourite foods. All these things that make up those whom we love, they will trigger a thousand memories about joyous times we have shared together. There is a reason that when someone dies we gather together to share our stories and memories, in particular the one where they made us laugh. It is to remember that even though we are upset because they have departed this world, the memories make us smile, make us proud to have known them, and grateful for the impact they have made on our own life.

So go out and share your life with others. Experience everything there is to experience. Don't let anyone you love get to the end of their time wishing they had done all those things they were waiting for "someday" to do them. get out and do them now. We are only here once....or are we?